IN POD WE TRUST
Tuesday, May 13th 2008, 3:24 PM. Approximately 24 hours before the annual club AGM, a young and naive novice rower, daring to dream, sends an email out to ICBC:
"Here are some reasons to vote for me as Press Officer:
* I have a dictionary AND a thesauras [yes she did accidentally spell thesaurus incorrectly. hilarious.].
* I know what inclement means without the use of aforementioned dictionary.
* I like rowing and typing.
* I like the sound that rowing and typing make.
* I can make the most uninteresting things sound interesting.
* I can make you sound cool.
* I can make people you don't like sound less cool.
* I accept, welcome and encourage bribes.
* I can multitask by mentally writing articles during 18 km ergos.
* I have mastered the use of the bullet list tool.
* I like the idea of being referred to as 'Officer Duffy'
* I am patient and respond without retaliation to Ben's 'Top O' The Morning To Ya' calls
[Ben Newland: ceaseless novice bullying]
* I make no apologies for liking potatoes.
* I forgive you for the famine and 800 years of oppression."
The campaign began after a mass email was sent to the club from Steve asking for a write-up about WeHoRR, the reply-all came from James Blackley: “Can I volunteer Christina Duffy of the women’s novice squad?” That’s definitely not how volunteering works in Ireland, but new to this foreign land, one just wanted to fit in. So it was agreed. (Yes James, it's all your fault!)
Following a successful election Press Officer Duffy was born, a title too long for Steve to type resulting in the abstract belief that is POD.
POD hopes she that has been true to her original exhaustive list of talents and character flaws, but feels it necessary to tell you that she has not been totally honest. She is not quite over the famine and 800 years of oppression. Hopefully time will heal these wounds.
POD hopes that the Duffy Award will live on, and has faith that Steve will get around to the boat naming ceremony. The role of Press Officer has been replaced with Press Coordinator as nobody was as misguided as POD to take it on: PC Libby Richards leads the way. Help her out folks or POD will have to bring the rain.
My dear ICBCers: To kill, maim & destroy one must own pain, belief & pride: these are our kingdoms. Rule them well. This is POD signing off. Out.