The Head of the River Race 2010: Imperial College have secured two pennants and two top twenty places in this year’s HORR. Imperial I claimed the IM1 pennant (16th overall), Imperial IV won the novice pennant (103rd overall) and the elite lightweights came a close second in category (8th overall). An alumni reception was held at the club with several VIPs in attendance including the Imperial College London Rector Sir Keith O'Nions.
The head race was the crew’s second outing in that combination, and only the seventh time they had all been out in an 8+ (with different combinations each time). Most of the preparation and focus consisted of taking the piss out of Jamie Kirkwood who won the Sculler’s Head of the River in late November of last year. Freeman-Pask: “He got a lot of stick for being shit, but when he switched to bowside… and being in the three seat... this only got worse. ‘Kirkwood to tower requesting a flyby. Negative Kirkwood, the pattern is full." The banter was relentless, complete with general retard elbow-licking impressions. But in just his third outing on bowside, Northerner Kirkwood was happy to have survived the race: “Der dis Yter durham tomoz Three ! bow crab LOLz !!!!!!!”
Freeman-Pask himself offered motivational soundbites to the crew instructing them to “Drop the bread in the toaster and wait for it to pop.” As for the race itself, cox Seb Pearce was the hero. Coming under Hammersmith Bridge they approached another tideway crew and could overhear the coxbox: "150 years of rowing came down to this day." Pearce: "150 years of rubbish rowing, let’s push off this driftwood." Earlier while marshaling another crew was having difficulty manoeuvring and the cox was yelling for more room from other crews. “She’ll need a lot of room”, murmured Pearce before mimicking the beeping sounds of a reversing truck.
The second eight consisted of Iain Palmer at stroke, Gareth Brown, Pierre Thomas, Richard Winchester, Adam Seward, Josh Barker, Will Todd & Paddy Hudson. They were disappointed with their row but still managed a decent result with fifth in In2 category and 38th overall (18:20.1). Cox Libby Richards managed a smile as her 78th starting position crew overtook crew 23 at Barnes Bridge (after some investigation POD is sad to report that this was an Irish boat, a first boat). Just a few days before the Head seat three Josh Barker was struck down with the noro virus (which also took out IC1’s Simon Steele and Rory Sullivan for a few days). POD was drafted in as temporary replacement and was ecstatic (literally!) to hear of the session’s work from coach Stu Whitelaw: “14km: 17 strokes on, 7 off, 10 times… twice. The 17 on at about… rate 40+.” (Rate what?!) As they pushed off Kirkwood was entering the club and seeing the crew shouted down the embankment: “Is that a girl in your boat?! Oh no, it’s Duffy.” POD’s only defense was to mentally plot ridiculing race reports, however seat two Will Todd was swifter in retaliation: "I'd rather her than you chicken legs."
The novice 8+ were delighted with their win and coach Ross Smitheman was close to tears at hearing of the result after weeks of tough basic training. The crew were Tom Pearson, Andy Gordon, Will Laughlin, Finlay McPhail, Sietse Braakman, Hal Bradbury, Luke Johnston & Tom Shaw. They were coxed by WEHORR IC1 cox Tom Fieldman who refused to mention any coaches names throughout the entire race. When asked about the differences in coxing women he replied: “I recall none of the girls wee-ed at the start, (might want to check with seat five about that, seat three will never forget the look of terror in seat four’s eyes: “I am NEVER going to heads”) whereas with the men I think the tide was rising before our race, even though the river was going out to sea.” Towards the end cox Fieldman was feeling redundant as most of the crew took to screaming and roaring encouragement. They had a different race plan to the other crews, instructed to cane it from Harrods. They looked strong passing the club in the last few hundred metres of the race causing some concern for coach Smitheman who questioned if they had pushed too late. How could they look so good at the end? Because they are awesome, obviously. The crew took the novice pennant 16 places (103rd) and three seconds (18:48.78) ahead of Oxford Brookes (18:52.91) before taking to the Duke’s Head for a drink on Ross. Well done guys!
In the first boat were Simon Steele, Rory Sullivan, Jonny Rankin, Henry Goodier, Mark Mearing-Smith, Leo Carrington, Danny Bellion, Alex Gillies & cox Henry Fieldman. They won the Intermediate 1 category in 18:06.6. The crew set off in 12th hot on the heels of the Durham first 8+ determined to take them doon, which they swiftly did. The club was hosting an alumni reception in the club room and after the race strokeman Steele was reflective when speaking to POD: “The stern three in that boat… all freshers.” *dramatic pause - POD nods* “That’s pretty f-ing awesome. Give it two years and that’s us right there.” *points to victorious Henley 2004 photo of Simon Hislop, George Whittaker, Hugh Mackenzie, Ed Johnson & Seb Pearce – POD nods*
After a successful day’s racing and cheering for Hertford it was time to find the party atmosphere at Crabtree who were hosting ‘Club 1829 Neon Nights – Dress to be seen.’ Looking suitably luminous and offensive, IC rocked up for a great night’s entertainment; mostly due to several club members making complete twats out of themselves. It seemed a great idea to plaster each other with neon paint: “Here give it to me, I'll draw some war streaks on your face.” *draws penis* “How do I look?” “Perfect.”
With 3 hours before a double training session POD headed back to the boat house. She was another hour rounding up unconscious Germans from the changing rooms and interrogating a randomer, only to find more rowers passed out in the flat upstairs. After a brief snooze it was time for training (the turnout was LAME) and sadly neon paint looked a little less cool in the harsh reality of broad daylight. Coach Steele at St. Paul’s: "What the hell is that all over your arms?"
Thanks to Imperial College London Rector Sir Keith O'Nions for attending the reception and conducting a rather wet boat naming ceremony. Two new ICBC Stämpflis were named; ‘Martin Knight’ after the College COO and ‘Simon Archer’ after Senior Lecturer and Chair of the Boathouse management.
Well done IC!
Christina Freeman-Duffy
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