Cambridge Winter Head 2010: Press Officer Tom "Lycra" Carpenter reports from the banks of the Cam.
What better way to start a weekend than waking up to a glorious hangover at half past six on a cold winter’s morning. Early starts are what rowing is all about apparently, but it was still a huge shock to many of ICBC’s novices. After some light dozing and a good few bananas, London was left behind and they were soon being thrown off the coach in an obscure housing estate in north Cambridge. The cam, a mere stream compared with the might of the Thames tideway, gave confidence to the competitors at least for a good result.
Photo by Orla McMahon
With all parts of the boat successfully remembered and reassembled this was it, time to get on the water and meander to the start line. A cox down, the Men’s B boat drafted in the help of a prepubescent Westminster school boy, with little to no coxing experience. Paddling up to the start it was discovered that 2500m wasn’t as far as it sounded and some of the competition was definitely beatable. With all three crews safely at the start line, Alex ‘Crabz’ Quigley produced a powerful speech, full of Cambridge bitterness to rally the team for the race. Crew t-shirts adorned, the race was on.
The Men’s Student Novice Boat A was away, powering through the first hundred metres, feeling good. Suddenly, the IC Novice Boat B could be seen careering diagonally across an almost straight section of river towards the only tree on the course. Shouts from bowman Reuben ‘Cameron’ Hill to “BACK IT DOWN” were too late to evade the inevitable. Colliding with the only tree sticking out of the bank, their race was over after only ten strokes. Our school boy friend would soon be receiving numerous death threats.
Back in the race Men’s A steamed through the first 1000km with great skill and power. Valuable time was unfortunately lost in the second 1000km due to strokeman Tommy ‘pedo-rapist-trainers’ Hirst sliding straight off his runners owing to a previously mentioned issue with his seat. Finishing fast and making up ground on the team in front Men’s Novice boat A came in a satisfying third position (15 seconds off first )destroying all our London competition and leaving Cambridge gawping at the rowing talent they had rejected. Without seat issues, could first have been theirs?.
Meanwhile the Woman’s Novice Boat were giving a master class in competitive rowing, streaking past the boat in front in the final 1000m and pulling lengths ahead to obliterate the competition and post the fastest time in class, by a large margin. Anyone would think they were trying to make a point: Imperial College does accept girls? No wait, Imperial Woman’s Novices are a force to be reckoned with..
Photo by Orla McMahon
Men’s Boat B gingerly made its way down the course where eventually the pressure on the vulnerable cox became too great, abandoning the crippled boat for some poor excuse of needing to race in his own crew. Will ‘Captain Sideburns’ Blyth took control of the situation to avoid the boat disrupting the next race, Tom ‘lycra’ Carpenter stepped in for his coxing debut and with the help of strokeman Hugh ‘facial’ O’Connell the boat was successfully coxed the rest of the way down the course and to safety. At least the finish line was reached in the end.
The Novice A boats set out again rechristened Men’s Boat C and Woman’s Boat B. Crashing boats again proved to be the problem of the day with a boat catching the bank and jack knifing across the river right in front of the Men. Thankfully with a more experienced cox, potential disaster was avoided. Xavier ‘pension’ Lorrain and Tom ‘blue shirt’ McArdle et al put in a sterling effort in the final 500m to finish their second race of the day in style ahead of a queue of other boats. The woman once again showed what imperial can do with a fifth place finish from the second boat beating both Kings College boats and many Cambridge colleges.
After a few dozen more bananas, and the longest discussion about lemonade and pimms in history, ICBC headed home to celebrate their success in centurion drinking style. And apparently the opening of metric was pretty good too. What better way to end a weekend than waking up to a glorious hangover.
Tom Carpenter