4s Head 2025
- Imperial College Boat Club
- 11 hours ago
- 7 min read
Photos all with credit to @AllMarkOne
Imperial College M4- 'A' Written by Will Groom Having been cancelled the previous two years, the mythical Four’s Head finally looked like it was going to go ahead, and come race day the conditions were near perfect. The 1st M4-, having spent the previous evening binge-watching Tom Lynch videos and stinking at Mariokart, was eager to lay down a marker for the season. The paddle up was uneventful, and we settled in for the wait to turn, which came sooner than expected due to an over-eager marshall in his rubber dinghy, who insisted that we “turn immediately” despite there being 50 crews waiting already. After a lot of backing down, the start line awaited and we stormed onto the course. The rhythm was strong and we hunted down UL, catching them by Barnes Bridge. A smooth overtake was made into what we thought was clear water, but rounding the corner to the island we encountered the bottom end of the previous category, scattered all around the racing line and moving at glacial pace. The rudder was liberally used, and at this brilliant moment half the boat blew having tried to follow some ‘ambitious’ watt targets. All was well, however, as Tom’s whispering kept Henry in check enough for him to deliver his war cry under Hammersmith Bridge, and we went hunting. The pain cave was well and truly explored down the line of boats, but the job was done, and 1st place secured in Academic 4-, 9th 4- overall. So bring on the true crown jewel of the season, Teddington Head…
Imperial College W4- 'A' Written by Loren Boles
After a few hours of chaotic marshalling, we set off and got straight onto a strong race rhythm. We walked on the crew behind us, building the gap until they were long forgotten. The UL crew in front of us were harder to catch, but we got their lead down to a canvas of clear water by the top of the island. At this point, it was clear that they were rattled, with frustrated shouting coming from their boat while their steersperson finally decided to get onto the racing line. After overtaking a W4x- from the category before us, we headed towards Hammersmith Bridge, very much feeling it in our legs and lungs. Things got busy after the bridge, as we had caught up with most of the category before us. UL unfortunately channelled their rattle into speed and started to pull away after Barn Elms, beating us by a mere 4s in the end. A good stepping stone for the rest of the season.
Imperial College M4+ 'B' Written by Theo Budgen
It was a warm summer’s day in November, and with the prayers of many last minute subs going sadly unanswered, Fours Head had not been cancelled; the wind had dropped and the sun was sporadic - we were actually going to race. It had been many moons since the last Fours Head; for some it was their last at Imperial, and for some it was their first, but to be honest it would probably be their last too considering the event’s recent track record.
Extraordinarily we had plenty of time in the racing crew. A bow-bucket rig was deemed appropriate for the Summers and her crew - coxed by the magnificent Andre Ma: Kit Gordon-Brown freakstyled it at stroke in his usual fashion; Sam Lynn backing him up, his job? Whispering sweet nothings from the 3 seat to create some relaxation; back of the bucket was Danny Shaw, notorious for his 49 degree catches; and bowman Theo ‘Mr. Tickle’ Budgen.
Pre-paddle was 50-50, Programme Manager and Head Coach Dave Loveday kindly cleared a path for the IC men’s and women’s 4s while simultaneously washing us down (he meant well). Historically at IC a bad prepaddle means a fantastic race. The omen was good.
Following Tessa’s expert advice for boating times, we comfortably reached the marshaling point with the other IC 4+. Everyone in the crew was dressed appropriately, we followed the plan and warmed up just in time to slowly cool down over the next few hours on the start line. We span, let the fleet of minibuses in club 4- get some space, and set off through Chiswick Bridge.
Flying down the course, all of the prep seemed to have paid off. Mr Jeebz at stroke laid down one of the rhythms of all time with the powerhouse of middle pair backing him up and only a moderate amount of T-Rexing in the bows. We made short work of the first coxless four, who were having a great time mudlarking along the island, and many more who were no match for Andre and his immaculate line; however, by Hammersmith bridge the effects of some rather “optimistic” power targets had began to settle in. The finish couldn’t come soon enough for some and as we powered through the finish line we drew some rather concerned looks from the martials as Danny rather quickly discovered he might be asthmatic.
As they made their return to the boathouse the boys discovered they had managed 5th place in Senior Academic 4+ and were a tantalising 3 seconds off 1st. In classic IC fashion we had managed to clutch defeat from the jaws of victory, but oh well. C’est la vie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Imperial College W4- 'B' Written by Liv Pasley
After two hours of marshalling, we at least had time to scout the competition and cheer on the other IC crews. But we were told to de-kit far too early, and we nearly froze our fingers off before even starting! Eventually we were called to start and began heading down the course. Dave would’ve been proud to see that we wound it up to a punchy 38 off the start, settling quickly onto a far more civilised rhythm as we rowed under Barnes Bridge feeling strong.
By the time we reached the island, the familiar burn had set in as the lactate crept up, but Zara called for a hard push at Hammersmith and the boat answered. We lifted, accelerating past a rogue quad (possibly lost… I thought we were racing fours?) and charged into the final stretch, using the cheers from our fans at Hammersmith to keep going. Legs were burning, hands were screaming, and it felt like kitchen-sink time, or at least I thought it was, until the finish line stubbornly refused to appear for far longer than memory suggested.
Eventually we crossed it in a tangle of heavy breaths and quiet suffering, only for my mum to tell us, “Shame, you guys looked tired.” I am proud of our performance and look forward to an exciting season ahead, especially knowing there’s still plenty more speed waiting to be unlocked.
Imperial College M4+ 'C' Written by Devlin Papworth
Imperial’s Third Boat arrived at Fours Head start line with an injury list longer than the start order. Bow seat’s back was so catastrophically cooked he was was essentially towing with vibes alone. Two-seat had been dragged in the night before with the classic ICBC summons:
“Mate, you free tomorrow? Great, bring kit.”
Three-seat, somehow the only fully functioning human on board, was left with one brain cell to drive him to the line. Stroke seat brought an unholy rhythm from The Bus.
For the uninitiated, The Bus is the ancient, traumatising ICBC boat of legend: slow, cursed, and known for producing a rhythm that could only be described as “why is this happening to me?” Stroke seat rowed that relic years ago, and it clearly never left him. The PTSD rate pattern made a triumphant return today, complete with memories of flexing riggers, creaking footplates, and at least three different kinds of existential dread.
The crew—heroes, really—did their best to translate this rhythm into forward motion rather than spiritual collapse.
But the unquestioned MVP?
The cox.
Not for steering fast.
Not for steering clean.
But for blocking UL with the grace and precision of a petty king.
In a move that will be told to novices for generations, our cox positioned the boat in a location so inconvenient that UL were reduced to a pace normally associated with paddle-backs and primary school outings. They were not amused. ICBC, however, felt spiritually nourished.
Despite the injuries, the last-minute subbing, the Bus-borne stroke rhythm, and the general chaos radiating from every seat, the third 4 blasted down the Tideway with heart, determination, and a heroic amount of delusion.
A monumental performance from a monumentally chaotic crew.
Imperial College M4- 'D' Written by Nic Elton
After being assembled as a crew on Wednesday morning, we set off to marshal with Josh valiantly keeping us safe! We soon spun and set off for our inaugural head race, in high spirits as crew 67 had just rowed past. Soon under Chiswick Bridge, I called us up, and we were off, sandwiched between an approaching Oxford crew and Radley, who listened dutifully as they were told to get out of the way, before Josh got too close to them anyway. Sticking to our preconceived race plan, we held Oxford off until halfway, where they decided it would be fun to row side by side for a few minutes. Soon though, they had pushed on, and we dug in, following a great line through Hammersmith. We encountered our next obstacle, an M4x-, which we kindly tapped with our blades before a red buoy had the same fate. With resilience, we shouted ‘reset’ for maybe the 10th time and pushed towards the home stretch, which, winding through the tiers, blew by as supporters cheered us on.
Overall, it was a good showing for the M4- D, which we can build on for the rest of the season. Go ICBC!
Imperial College M4- 'E'
Imperial College M4+ 'F' Written by Rex Webber-Brown
“Children, please accelerate your locomotion or you will fail to board the scheduled transportation vehicle!” The Radley children did not, in fact, miss said vehicle. Nevertheless, Rex’s repeated shouting, combined with the loud bus engine, created an unexpected delay, causing them to hover awkwardly near the bend. At this juncture, the rowing captains from Oxford and East Anglia spontaneously elected to engage in what appeared to be a four-person collision-avoidance experiment. The Oxford coxswain emitted a consistent shriek of “RADLEY! RADLEY! RADLEY!” for approximately sixty seconds, startling numerous residents in the normally peaceful Hammersmith area.
The competition regressed into a confusing display of parallel movement until finally subsiding near Paul’s, at which point the boats reluctantly aligned into a straight line under the bridge. Timing remained relatively intact, and the 415 vessel continued its journey. Somewhere near Barn Elms, the lightweight Cambridge crew passed them, contained in a boat of indeterminate purplish-black coloration. The final stretch was accompanied by escalated noise levels from bystanders, culminating in the 415 retracing its path to a state of competitive adequacy, thus fulfilling the expectations of ICBC.
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